Facing Reality, Finding Faith and Being Thankful For The Little Things

// today I am over on Babble with a post that comes straight from the heart. read my thoughts on the news today, facing reality + being thankful for the little things. like grayson’s first real smile  // 

faith quote Today was mind-blowing, heart wrenching, and just beyond words. My heart was broken today. My stomach in knots. Waiting for my littles to get home safe from school felt like an eternity.

20 children. 20 helpless children. 20 empty beds tonight. Hearts broken that will never be put back together. I can’t imagine what went on in that elementary school today. I can’t imagine the fear as 5 year olds ran for their lives. And than I thought of my very own. I can’t imagine the hurt those parents are feeling knowing that in one second their lives changed forever. I can’t imagine. 

{head over to read the rest on Babble}

and see Grayson’s first smile too….

hey, at least it’s something warm + fuzzy for the heart on this sad day.

my weekend via my iphone

grayson is home. monday was kinda insane. hubs got his cast on and is completely immobile. totally makes me feel like a single mom. thanksgiving chaos has begun and well work — it’s insane as always. but, here’s a peek into this past weekend, hospital stay included.

 

pink bow flats: c/o talbots | ikat red mug: c/o mikasa | cute babies: c/o me

24 Hours in the Hospital with my 6 Week Old. It’s Never Fun.

Right before heading to the doctor’s office on Friday afternoon, the last thing I remember doing was updating my Facebook status with a little something that went like this: was thinking. as we head to the doctors yet again. they really should give out punch cards. every 4th visit comes with complimentary xanax for the mother. or something like that. Needless to say, it was a few hours later when I really could have used something to relax.

Friday morning I noticed that Grayson was unusually fussy. He wouldn’t let me put him down and he was just crying, like he was in pain. This is so not him; he is always very content. I thought he felt a little warm so I decided to take his temperature. Needless to say, he had a fever: 100.9 to be exact. For most, this isn’t a big deal. But for a 6-week-old preemie who would only be 2 weeks if he made his due date, it’s kind of a big deal. I immediately called the doctor to schedule an appointment and in the meantime, I gave him Tylenol. A few hours later when we arrived at the doctor’s his temperature was 101. One thing I should re-rewind and mention is the heart monitor warning. I told you here how Grayson wears a heart monitor for two reasons: acid reflux and sleep apnea. Well the alarm goes off for three reasons: he stops breathing for 20 seconds, his heart rate increases, and his heart rate decreases. In the last 12 hours prior to the doctor’s visit Grayson has been “alarming” (as we call it) more than usual. He had stopped breathing 5 times, twice in which I had to stimulate him in order to get him to breathe again. VERY scary. VERY. Especially when I could see him changing color, close to blue. Most of the time the sleep apnea causes this to happen and he always self-corrects. But a few times he needed me to wake him up, pat him or yell his name in order to remind him to breathe. It’s a true moment of panic for any mom. This is a common issue with premature babies and as they develop they grow out of this; however, it can also be a sign of infection.

Knowing this, I figured we’d be seeing the hospital. And sure enough, my doctor heard those few little comments about changing color, alarming, fever and well, it got us admitted to the hospital Friday night. Three hours later Grayson was hooked up to monitors, IV fluids, and we were waiting on blood, urine and spinal tap results. RSV was immediately negative and there was nothing else they could see that was causing this fever which had all of us, doctors included, very worried, which is why the spinal tap had to be done. I was really just hoping it was something obvious and was pulling for something as simple like an ear infection. As his fever continue to climb to 101.9, I was scared. As always, I have an amazing support system of family and friends that help keep the faith, but having a little one in the hospital unexpectedly is never a fun way to start the weekend. Not to mention I was completely solo. Earlier in the day, my husband broke his right foot. Oh, and a toe too. The x-ray showed his foot and toe were broken into 15 pieces. Literally shattered. So, needless to say, he was at home completely immobile. Yep, when it rains it pours in our house.

As the night went on, we waited for test results which seemed to take forever. Blood and urine came first and everything was fine. However, his white blood cell count was slightly elevated, which is why they decided to do a chest x-ray and spinal tap. While they waited they started him on IV fluids and an antibiotic, just to play it safe as we waited for results on the spinal tap which was one of the worst things I’ve had to watch as a parent. In the past, it’s sad to say that two of my littles have had to go through it as well and spent various times in the hospital. Well, usually you are asked to leave the room and this time, I was asked to stay to help hold him into place. I will be honest, I am usually a very strong person but watching such a little guy go through such a painful procedure just made me want to burst into tears. Talk about an awful feeling and horrible thing to watch. Needless to say after much anticipation we found out he had rhino virus which he most likely caught from another person who was carrying the virus or was sick. Rhino virus for us is just a cold. But because he is just a little guy with a not so great immune system, it hit him much harder. Luckily for us, he lost his fever the next morning and we got the okay to head home. I was thankful. Very thankful considering Sadie, my second youngest, earned herself a two-week stay in the NICU from rhino virus last year. It is not a fun one to fight off and I am just praying Grayson continues to make progress fighting off the virus.

Since we’ve been home last night, he has only spiked a little bit of a fever and seems to be on the way to feeling better soon! We head to the doctor’s in the morning for a follow-up and are just happy he is okay. The hospital is never a place I want to spend my weekend. But it did give me some extra down time to snuggle sweet baby Gray.

Take a peek into our hospital stay via my iPhone. 

love this messy face. snapped this right when he finished eating but couldn’t resist those eyes.

 

 

 

thankful.

via

it’s November. one month that reminds you to be thankful.

excuse me for being a few days behind.

day one: I am blessed with cupcakes. And not Georgetown Cupcakes. My littles. All five of them. Even though there are times where I want to scream or lock myself in the bathroom - I love them. zoe and her beautiful smile, her personality and life makes the room shine. mckenzie and her love for life, the hilarious thing she says + her love for fashion. kennadi with those eyes that make you melt + her silliness. and oh sadie, with her personality. she has us laughing all the time. she is such a ham and has a smile that can put you in a good mood no matter what. baby grayson and the never-ending snuggles + sweet baby eyes. love. them. all. so. much

day two: Oh my family. My mom, dad, sister, my mama – all of them. They are my rock. I love them so very much. Somedays I wouldn’t make it through without them. My parents are truly the best any gal could ask for. They come out every Saturday to visit and just let us get things done while they entertain the girls. They are always there for us. My sister wears many hats too for me + cupcakeMAGnanny, assistant, aunt, best friend, social media guru, stylist…..I am grateful for her + lucky to have such an awesome sister + best friend.

day three: For a seriously amazing bestfriend who will listen to my bitch rant text messages when I blow up her phone and who is always there to listen or snap me back to reality. I am thankful she lives almosts an identical life to mine with 5 littles. so she understands the chaos. she’s only been my best friend for a year but, I feel like I’ve known her my entire lifetime. she rocks.

everyday. no matter what. there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

what are you thankful for?

yep, I’m writting for Disney Baby!

 

In case you missed my other big news this week, I’m now writing for Disney Baby! Super-exciting. Disney + Babble are just so amazing + I love every minute of being able to write for such an amazing company.

A sneak at some of my post over there this week: 

- 10 Oh-So-Cute Felt Headbands for Fall 

- Introducing Moi! {psstt….cute pics of my littles!}

- 8 Shared Spaces You’ll Be Smitten Over {disclaimer: major eye candy!}

I can’t thank you all for your never-ending support when it comes to reading everything I write. You all rock!